


Just a Kid

by colorofmercury



Series: Shifting Gears [12]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorofmercury/pseuds/colorofmercury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Karkat meets John, but doesn't know that it's the kid emailing him. </p>
<p>What I wrote: John and Jade argue again, Karkat says two words to John at a party, and John pines a lot. </p>
<p>That's... sort of close, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Kid

**Author's Note:**

> Uh I got a little off topic here, and ended up making it sad, but… it sort of follows the basic premise of your prompt? More or less? 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for the prompt! And I hope this is enjoyed.
> 
> Oh also this takes place about a month ahead of where you currently are in the main story. This is a party that Sollux and Tavros will go to also, so once that chapter comes out (HAHAHAHAHAHA oh man that’ll be a while) that might give a bit more context? I hope. 
> 
> (Also do you like how I keep doing Karkat/John minifics instead of any of the other requests I've gotten? Man I am gr8 at this.)

You’re a little bad at parties. 

It’s not that you’re shy, or you don’t like people, or anything! You’re just never sure what to say. Luckily most of the people here are in the championship, so you don’t have to do that weird dance where you accept compliments from people who think it is SO COOL that you race, but without sounding stuck up. 

Now you just have to deal with people congratulating you on your high ranking while they’re looking at you like they want to eat your intestines. 

You’re pretty sure human intestines aren’t, actually, a seadweller delicacy, but this guy’s kind of making you wonder if the rumors are true after all. 

Hey, it’s not your fault he’s a lousy racer. He tried his best! You’re just better. 

Shit, did you say that out loud? 

Thankfully Jade steps in and saves your ass, yet again, by talking over you before you can finish your sentence, and although he turns back to look at you, he must have been convinced because he keeps walking away. 

She hits you. 

“Ow,” you grumble, rubbing your arm, and she gives you one of those looks, with the twisted-up mouth and the raised eyebrows and the crossed arms, and you know you’re in trouble for something but you’re not sure what. You give her a look that mostly involves sticking your tongue out, and she grabs it before you can put it back in. “Hey!” You say, or you try to, because you can’t really move your mouth very well right now. 

“You remember when Dave Strider beat you a week and a half ago?” You make a face at her and she lets go of your tongue. “Well?” 

“Yeah.” You move your tongue around in your mouth until it stops feeling weird. 

“You remember when I beat you a couple days before that?”

“I was having an off week, leave me alone about it!” 

“That is so not the point!” She’s getting frustrated, you can tell, but you have no idea what she’s getting at so you can’t even help her out. 

“… What is the point?” 

“The point is you _hate_ losing, and you are the worst loser, and it’s a shitty feeling, and Ampora at least tried to be civil just now and you are just being a jerk.” 

This makes you hesitate. You guess she’s kind of right. That was a pretty mean thing to say. “I tried to be civil to Strider,” you attempt, because you’re pretty sure you did. 

“You threw a tantrum and said you were going to throw his bike off a cliff.” 

“But I didn’t, did I!” 

“And you stormed off instead of going to congratulate him, just because he got podium and you didn’t.” 

“But I wasn’t actually _mean_!” 

She makes this loud noise of frustration, staring up at something above your head and tensing her hands in the air like she’s trying not to strangle you. That’s probably pretty accurate, actually, given her record. 

And she hits you again! 

What a jerk. 

“ _Ow_ ,” you say again. “Jesus tits, I might be rude but you’re _violent_ , which is _totally worse_.” 

“You deserved it!” She says, and she pushes you. 

“I did not!” You say, and you push her back. “Stop assaulting me!” 

“You did _too_ , and stop being a jerk!” She pushes you harder this time, and you stumble back and hit someone. 

The first thing that crosses your mind is “Look what you did!” but you don’t get a chance to say that to her because for some reason the first thing you say is “Sorry!” and then “Shit, sorry,” and “Didn’t mean it,” and “Are you okay?” 

And then after you’re done saying all of those things, you _still_ don’t have a chance to yell at Jade, because you and your victim have both turned to face each other, and you’ve gotten a chance to readjust your eyes and look down, and you are suddenly not very worried about yelling at Jade any more. 

“Could you two _be_ any more juvenile?” he says, and he’s sneering but he’s also rolling his eyes, and wow his mouth is really pretty and that was a weird thing to think, shit. 

But your brain is kind of out of not-weird thoughts, and at this point it must be more or less out of thoughts at all, because you’re just sort of standing there and gaping. You were kind of planning on avoiding Karkat, because you weren’t sure how to act around him, and you haven’t even had any time to prepare and this is basically the worst. 

Oh god if he realizes who you are you are so royally fucked. 

He raises an eyebrow at you, because you’re just staring at him, and then he takes this deep breath like it is taking all of his patience to deal with you right now. He shakes his head. “Whatever, apology accepted. Just quit roughhousing, okay?” 

You snap out of it and nod, apologizing again. 

“You’re one of the Egberts, right? Are you John or Jade?” 

You feel your heart sink. Do you really look that girly? He scoffs before you have the chance to respond--was that supposed to be a laugh?--and rolls his eyes. “Calm down, I was joking. Good job with the race and everything, that was an interesting recovery.” 

“Oh.” You manage a laugh, and somehow it sounds natural. “Cool. Thanks.” 

You want to say more but you’re so terrified he’ll recognize the way you talk, or you’ll say something you said in an email and he’ll make the connection, or…

You glance around behind you and Jade is nowhere to be found. 

You’re not sure what to think about this. 

“I should, uh.” He’s giving you this deadpan look and oh man his eyes are kind of stunning up close, and he is so _little_ , you can’t get over it. You just want to pick him up and cuddle him. You are so screwed right now. “I should go find my sister.” 

He scoffs again, that same sort of humorless laugh, and tells you to go, calls you socially inept, almost smiles. 

He looks so sad. And so _tired_. You think of all the emails he’s sent you, all the times he’s almost opened up and been so frustrated at his life, and he’s so passionately irritated that sometimes you wonder if his rage and his moirail are all that keep him going. 

Sometimes you think about what it would be like if you were older; you imagine a life where you would kiss him until he smiled, talk to him until he laughed, listened to him until he didn’t have a reason to be angry any more. 

But then you remember even your seventeenth birthday is still months away, and he’s turning twenty-six in two weeks; and you remember that his feelings about you would probably be best summed up with “well I don’t hate him”; and you remember that you’re a stupid kid with a crush and you don’t know what love feels like. 

He looks sad and tired, and his mouth is so pretty and his eyes are stunning, and because there’s nothing you can do you just smile at him. You tell him you’ll catch him later. 

You don’t mean it.


End file.
